Babies

I don't know if this is just me, or if all new moms have this feeling, but I REALLY want to have another baby. I want another so bad. Today I went to the doctors and I heard a tiny baby squawk and I just had the urge to be a mommy again. Jeff and I have planned to hold off until we're ready, so right now we're loving little Hazel to pieces right now.

I wanted to know if anyone else had these feelings a year or so after they had their first baby. If you have please share in the comments or message me about it. I don't want to be alone in feeling this way. I love babies and I really want another, but Jeff isn't sure if he wants another baby. I grew up as an only child and I honestly always wanted a big family of three or so kids and my husband and me. I hated being an only child, it was boring and I often felt alone, which kind of led to my childhood depression.

Please share your thoughts! It would be so helpful!

Dogs for Therapy, Huge Help!

I love dogs. I am the kind of person who would go to the animal shelter and let all the puppies out in the play room and just roll on the floor with them and bark and stuff with them. and just lay on the floor and let them lick me all over.

In the past week I have gone to the animal shelter three times, and each time, I see the same dog there. He's sweet, kinda medium sized, and great personality. He's not a pretty dog, but he's three years old, house-broke, trained, and works well with kids and other animals, so why am I talking about him? He's been there since December 5 of 2012.

Lots of the dogs I have seen there have already been adopted. Except him, so I'm talking to people who I think will adopt him. Thank you, Dani!

Last night I had a very bad break down, and Hazel wound up spending the night at her grandpa's. I was still even crying when i went to bed, I was very worked up, because it seems like no one is willing to talk to me anymore, and I don't have much of a social life...I do reach out to people, but not many people respond. I'm not sure why, but since I had gotten pregnant, people started to distance themselves from me.

I try to act like its not a problem, but it is. It bothers me a lot. So.....here comes the challenge.

CHALLENGE:  TALK AND HANG OUT WITH PEOPLE YOU USED TO TALK TO ALOT (EVEN IF THERE WAS A FIGHT I DGAF!) JUST TALK. SEE HOW THEY ARE.

SECOND CHALLENGE:  GO TO AN ANIMAL SHELTER AND LOOK AT THE DOGS, GIVE THEM SOME ATTENTION, THEY NEED LOVE TOO.

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Trust, Friendship, and Drama

It takes a lot to break my trust, I'll be the first to admit it. I am a very patient person, (except when it comes to kids movies*LOVE THEM!!!* or road trips) and I can tolerate getting my hopes up and then have them crushed by the same person for years on end, and so on.

I used to be the kind of friend who would always be there anytime, anywhere, somehow. I used to sleep with my cellphone ready and charged in a KON backpack I slept with in case my friends needed me. I was a very dependable person. I still am.

But not very many of my friends are. DONT YOU DARE SIT THERE AND SAY BULLSHIT:

You know who you are. Whenever I called needing someone to talk to, you were all too busy, or ignored my calls. You all may say that you've been there for me, but whenever I asked you to hang out

(A) you're already with someone

(B) You've already made plans

(C) Don't want to

(D) ((my favorite)) go on Facebook and complain about how no one wants to hang out with you


A lot of this has impacted me in my recovery. I need people who care about me to actually step up and say that you want to hang and watch movies. I have never tried to be a loner. You guys made me a loner by leaving me on my own.

Often times throughout high school, I have sat at a lunch table alone, and none of you have even noticed me, or attempted to wave a simple "hi" to me. I feel like I am not welcomed at all by the people who call me a friend.

Friendship and communication go two ways, I'm here and I've been trying....what about you?


I am going to give everyone ONE CHALLENGE FOR TOMORROW; reach out to someone. ANYONE you KNOW needs some friendship in their day.

I also want everyone to try not to break promises. EVER. I know sometimes you can't help it, but tell the person why. And it better not be a ridiculous reason for example:

a.  "I had to watch a TV marathon of _________!"

b.  "I was talking to _______ and lost track of time!"

c.  "Because I don't like you." (if this is your excuse why are you even making a promise to them?)

And for all the drama queens out there...will it really matter in a few months? Just drop it. No one likes drama, get the fuck over it.