I finally got my book published. Its on Amazon, Kindle, and Createspace book store site. I'm going to use the money that I recieve to get a place other than my parents' basement, and save for Hazel's college fund. I really am excited to get out into the writing industry(FINALLY!!) and I hope that I can get as much support from everyone as possible! Thank you so much for being so helpful in my journey and for my friends and family for being so great to me in general.
The link to the book: Createspace Estore
Here's the overall summary.
Rowan lives her life, dealing with an abusive controlling boyfriend, and struggling with her issues with the world when Aiden walks into her life. After a wild encounter, she learns she is a princess in a land where fairies rule, and she just became queen.Its a story about teenage struggles, growing up, and loss, along with depression and feelings most teenagers deal with on a daily basis while being placed in another world.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Monday, May 6, 2013
Babies
I don't know if this is just me, or if all new moms have this feeling, but I REALLY want to have another baby. I want another so bad. Today I went to the doctors and I heard a tiny baby squawk and I just had the urge to be a mommy again. Jeff and I have planned to hold off until we're ready, so right now we're loving little Hazel to pieces right now.
I wanted to know if anyone else had these feelings a year or so after they had their first baby. If you have please share in the comments or message me about it. I don't want to be alone in feeling this way. I love babies and I really want another, but Jeff isn't sure if he wants another baby. I grew up as an only child and I honestly always wanted a big family of three or so kids and my husband and me. I hated being an only child, it was boring and I often felt alone, which kind of led to my childhood depression.
Please share your thoughts! It would be so helpful!
I wanted to know if anyone else had these feelings a year or so after they had their first baby. If you have please share in the comments or message me about it. I don't want to be alone in feeling this way. I love babies and I really want another, but Jeff isn't sure if he wants another baby. I grew up as an only child and I honestly always wanted a big family of three or so kids and my husband and me. I hated being an only child, it was boring and I often felt alone, which kind of led to my childhood depression.
Please share your thoughts! It would be so helpful!
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Prom Night/Engagement
Prom came and went in a flash, its hard to believe that it was my last dance. I'm glad I got to spend time with friends and that there was very little drama. Lots of pictures were taken, and I have a lot of wonderful memories with my Jeff and my friends.
Jeff also decided we should go public with our engagement, and it was a good night all in all. Post-Prom was alot of fun, Jeff raced a few of his guy friends and wound up beating them all, each time coming out in a unique way, first time he rolled out and thumped down on the mat, second time he skidded outslipping on the mat, and the third time, he wound up rolling and skidding out.
I also figured out alot more about what was said at my visit at the hospital, and the movie the Lion King, I can't change other people, but I can change how I feel about other people. Basically, hakuna matata. So...I stopped caring about all my lost friendships, and treasure the ones I now have. People who don't want to get to know me, or even try to tough it out, I don't need them. If people have a problem with me, I'm now just going to tell them that they can get over it and that I don't care.
Jeff also decided we should go public with our engagement, and it was a good night all in all. Post-Prom was alot of fun, Jeff raced a few of his guy friends and wound up beating them all, each time coming out in a unique way, first time he rolled out and thumped down on the mat, second time he skidded outslipping on the mat, and the third time, he wound up rolling and skidding out.
I also figured out alot more about what was said at my visit at the hospital, and the movie the Lion King, I can't change other people, but I can change how I feel about other people. Basically, hakuna matata. So...I stopped caring about all my lost friendships, and treasure the ones I now have. People who don't want to get to know me, or even try to tough it out, I don't need them. If people have a problem with me, I'm now just going to tell them that they can get over it and that I don't care.
Monday, April 22, 2013
Rain Rain
Yeah i know creative. Real creative. but hey, i'm feeling a little less "proffesional" today. i just want to act my age a bit. It is almost time for PROM!!! And i am unbelievably excited. I am thrilled to hang out with my friends. and of course Jeff!! Hazel gets to have a dance with daddy this year, and hopefully she won't scream when we leave she's gotten very clingy to Jeff because of her teeth.
Friday, April 12, 2013
Hospital-Psych. Ward
Yes. I was in the psych. ward. No. It was not terrible. It helped me alot. Despite all the odd run ins, it was a very helpful stay and I feel better. Alot better.
My roommate helped me laugh at night. And we're going to keep in touch. I just want to say a few words about depression.
Depression is an ILLNESS, and its up to you to take hold of it. You have to be willing to accept it, and be able to seek help when its time for others to help you. Sometimes you can do it alone, but sometimes you can't. There is no shame in asking for help. If you think you need help, don't be afraid to ask. There are people out there who truly want to help.
My roommate helped me laugh at night. And we're going to keep in touch. I just want to say a few words about depression.
Depression is an ILLNESS, and its up to you to take hold of it. You have to be willing to accept it, and be able to seek help when its time for others to help you. Sometimes you can do it alone, but sometimes you can't. There is no shame in asking for help. If you think you need help, don't be afraid to ask. There are people out there who truly want to help.
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Easter
Its almost been two years since Jeff and I started dating, and it feels even longer. I know it may sound cliche but Easter is all about new beginnings and that's how our relationship is. Its hard to explain, but Jeff has been the best change in my life. He's also the one choice that I can never regret for all the joy he's given me, even through all the troubles, everything has been a challenge and we've helped each other through it.
Now, as we close in on our two year anniversary, I wanted everyone to see that love is hard to find, but you need to hold onto it with everything you have.
Now, as we close in on our two year anniversary, I wanted everyone to see that love is hard to find, but you need to hold onto it with everything you have.
Monday, March 25, 2013
Impending Graduation
This is to all the future high school graduates out there.
It's exciting at first, being the big dogs in the school, but as the year goes on, fear starts to settle in, and nerves kick in. You're scared of what the future holds, for the past 13 years you've had something to wake up to each year, though you may have loved it, hated it, dreaded it, it was something that was stable, constant, and unchanging but everchanging as we grew older.
Now that the end is near, knowing that you won't have something to wake up to anymore, that you won't have your friends to surround you each day, it's hard to handle. I know. I'm right there while I'm typing it. Believe me, it's rough, and its hard to handle on your own, but this is what they call growing up.
Growing up...is doing this on your own. Walking across that stage, you may believe you're not ready, but that's what makes you so ready to cross that point in time, you're ready, and now that time has come.
You won't always have your friends crowding you, friends will change as time passes, you may wish for your highschool days back, but that's all they will be. Wishes.
So treasure each moment, and make as many memories while you can, learn what you can while you're still in school, let yourself grow in this year, leave the drama alone...its not worth it.
This is your final year, take it by storm.
It's exciting at first, being the big dogs in the school, but as the year goes on, fear starts to settle in, and nerves kick in. You're scared of what the future holds, for the past 13 years you've had something to wake up to each year, though you may have loved it, hated it, dreaded it, it was something that was stable, constant, and unchanging but everchanging as we grew older.
Now that the end is near, knowing that you won't have something to wake up to anymore, that you won't have your friends to surround you each day, it's hard to handle. I know. I'm right there while I'm typing it. Believe me, it's rough, and its hard to handle on your own, but this is what they call growing up.
Growing up...is doing this on your own. Walking across that stage, you may believe you're not ready, but that's what makes you so ready to cross that point in time, you're ready, and now that time has come.
You won't always have your friends crowding you, friends will change as time passes, you may wish for your highschool days back, but that's all they will be. Wishes.
So treasure each moment, and make as many memories while you can, learn what you can while you're still in school, let yourself grow in this year, leave the drama alone...its not worth it.
This is your final year, take it by storm.
Friday, March 22, 2013
Love with Challenges
Jeff and I aren't perfect. We'll be the first people to admit that. We bicker, but we make up for everything by how we care about each other. Everyday is a challenge, and we accept that. Love isn't a cake walk, it's a challenge to show the world that there is someone out there that can drive you crazy, make you mad, and be your other half all at the same time, despite differences that exist between two people.
I love Jeff, and I know he loves me. He doesn't need to say it, but I know he does. I know I'm a grouchy, mean-spirited girl, but he brings out the side of me that I keep hidden. Its the side when I cry, laugh, and cuddle, and I never want to leave his side, it makes me so happy to know that I found the love of my life, and he's perfect to me, despite all the little pet peeves about him, I wouldn't want him any other way.
That's how love should be. I challenge everyone in the world to find a love like that, where its not who has given up more for the other, its about the time you spend together, and how you feel around them.
Love is about the feeling you're consumed with when you see them. That is love, when you can't imagine life without them.
I love Jeff, and I know he loves me. He doesn't need to say it, but I know he does. I know I'm a grouchy, mean-spirited girl, but he brings out the side of me that I keep hidden. Its the side when I cry, laugh, and cuddle, and I never want to leave his side, it makes me so happy to know that I found the love of my life, and he's perfect to me, despite all the little pet peeves about him, I wouldn't want him any other way.
That's how love should be. I challenge everyone in the world to find a love like that, where its not who has given up more for the other, its about the time you spend together, and how you feel around them.
Love is about the feeling you're consumed with when you see them. That is love, when you can't imagine life without them.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Colors
I know this may seem like a strange thing, but when I meet people, I smell them and try to find a color to suit their smell. When I decide on a color that determines whether or not I'm "compatible" with them as a friend. Hazel is a soft purple-lavender, and I can't get enough of her smell, so when I miss her, I will smell her favorite blanket (creepy i know, but hey it was originally was my Christmas present this year!! i just let her have it because she loved it.) to keep me calm.
When I first met Jeff, I told him his color when I hugged him. I kind of blurted it out, "Purple, you smell like purple." and that earned me the title of being his weird girlfriend later on. BUT lately...his color has changed ever so slightly from a vibrant purple to now more like a deeper darker purple. and kind of dulled. I guess that just means he's matured. Julia has a color, it's periwinkle. Kelsey has a color, it's a purple and pink mixture. My friend Twiggit was a vibrant Irish green.
Colors mean a lot to me, and so do the people who smell like them. I know it sounds weird, but knowing that colors don't change when the people take a step back from me. I know that if they ever want to be friends again, that nothing will really have changed.
When I first met Jeff, I told him his color when I hugged him. I kind of blurted it out, "Purple, you smell like purple." and that earned me the title of being his weird girlfriend later on. BUT lately...his color has changed ever so slightly from a vibrant purple to now more like a deeper darker purple. and kind of dulled. I guess that just means he's matured. Julia has a color, it's periwinkle. Kelsey has a color, it's a purple and pink mixture. My friend Twiggit was a vibrant Irish green.
Colors mean a lot to me, and so do the people who smell like them. I know it sounds weird, but knowing that colors don't change when the people take a step back from me. I know that if they ever want to be friends again, that nothing will really have changed.
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Back to School
Tomorrow, I return to high school and finish my final quarter. I am both nervous and excited to know this has finally come. I just hope I can deal with the pressures of being back, and with handling being around other people. I know I can succeed, but I also know that I will be challenged to complete all my courses in order to walk across the stage in May.
If you're just now tuning into my blog, I am a new mom, who is suffering from post-partum depression and post-partum anxiety, along with post traumatic stress disorder. I had to take the past quarter of school off so that I could focus on my recovering. I have accomplished alot.
If you're just now tuning into my blog, I am a new mom, who is suffering from post-partum depression and post-partum anxiety, along with post traumatic stress disorder. I had to take the past quarter of school off so that I could focus on my recovering. I have accomplished alot.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Publish
Well, I decided that I will self publish my books. I'm just hoping that I can receive as much support in my writing books as my blog and in my recovery.
My book is about two teenagers in a new world that one of them knew existed and the other didn't know about it, but was meant to rule it. Its based off my emotions from the past year and how I wish I could be (how I used to be). I incorporate several thoughts and emotions a teenager faces when dealing with something new. I try to keep it light and funny, while still having serious moments in between all the interacting characters, and I involve the environment as much as possible.
I'll update when it will go on sale on amazon, and let everyone know, so if you want to support me, please buy my book when it is on the market.
My book is about two teenagers in a new world that one of them knew existed and the other didn't know about it, but was meant to rule it. Its based off my emotions from the past year and how I wish I could be (how I used to be). I incorporate several thoughts and emotions a teenager faces when dealing with something new. I try to keep it light and funny, while still having serious moments in between all the interacting characters, and I involve the environment as much as possible.
I'll update when it will go on sale on amazon, and let everyone know, so if you want to support me, please buy my book when it is on the market.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Looking Ahead
Well as Hazel's first year comes to a close, I'm left looking forward to the rest, and patiently waiting for depression to loosen its hold on my life. I wish that I could be a stay at home mom, and help my daughter grow and become a caring,sensitive member in our family and community. But I know I have to get a job, and help to provide for her, and let her find out how to be a caring person from examples around her, and the values we instill in her even when she's barely walking.
I had to cut back on my Trazodone, which my therapist told me was a horse sedative that is being over prescribed and it takes a harder toll on the human body. The side effects are; memory loss, vomiting/nausea, irregular heart beat, heavy chest, breathing problems, muscle aches/stiff muscles, and several others. I suggest you do your research on medication before you say okay to the doctor, you all have smartphones probably, so you should be able to look it up.
I needed to get that out of the way so now I can tell you what's been going on.
My mom and I went shopping for Hazel's birthday party last night and somehow we wound up in the baby department looking at clothes. We found some preemie clothes and we both almost started crying over how big she's gotten in the past year. She's on whole milk now, and she's a little milk monster. We spent a lot of the night talking because Hazel had her super-special birthday sleepover with Grandpa John, and it gave us time to think back to how it was. Its hard to believe we came from this
to this
I had to cut back on my Trazodone, which my therapist told me was a horse sedative that is being over prescribed and it takes a harder toll on the human body. The side effects are; memory loss, vomiting/nausea, irregular heart beat, heavy chest, breathing problems, muscle aches/stiff muscles, and several others. I suggest you do your research on medication before you say okay to the doctor, you all have smartphones probably, so you should be able to look it up.
I needed to get that out of the way so now I can tell you what's been going on.
My mom and I went shopping for Hazel's birthday party last night and somehow we wound up in the baby department looking at clothes. We found some preemie clothes and we both almost started crying over how big she's gotten in the past year. She's on whole milk now, and she's a little milk monster. We spent a lot of the night talking because Hazel had her super-special birthday sleepover with Grandpa John, and it gave us time to think back to how it was. Its hard to believe we came from this
to this
and finally to this
And her smile grows with her, making her even more beautiful every day as she finds the happiness in family.
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Birthday Time!
Well now I get to put all my excitement into a post. My daughter's birthday is coming up and this week I'm planning her birthday. I'm planning a "Duckie" themed party and we ordered her personal cake already. I'm so thrilled! I think that she'll have fun, Jeff is going to make her breakfast for her and wake her up. Its hard to believe she's going to be a year old....
On a more disappointing note, Jeff told me he only wants one baby. I want to have lots of kids. like maybe three, but...I know that won't happen...oh well....
I just hope everything works out....I love my family...but I want a big family.
On a more disappointing note, Jeff told me he only wants one baby. I want to have lots of kids. like maybe three, but...I know that won't happen...oh well....
I just hope everything works out....I love my family...but I want a big family.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Obsession: Pregnancy
For the past month I have been obsessed with pregnancy, and babies.
I keep wanting to get pregnant again, maybe in the back of my mind I think I could make up for everything with my PP-crap with a new baby. But then I also feel like I just want a bigger family. I don't know if this comes with Post-Partum, but it has been on my mind alot. I even want to go through labor again.
I see other babies and I just really want to cuddle them and my little girl and have another baby. I told Jeff today and he let me cry out my frustrations, I'm not going to get pregnant. At least not for a while. Jeff has been great with me, so I have to just say I love him to no end, he's so supportive of me in my recovery, and I love him for being so understanding.
I also love my mom for always supporting my writing, I'm super excited for this week, because Jeff is typing up the first book in my series, and I'm going to try to find a literary agent next, then a publisher. I'm so glad for all the support from my friends, and my family for their support throughout the years. I hope that those of you who read my blog, have faith to help me along in my future decisions of my life.
As always, thank you for taking the time to read my blog, and please do follow me on Facebook. I thank you all so much.
I keep wanting to get pregnant again, maybe in the back of my mind I think I could make up for everything with my PP-crap with a new baby. But then I also feel like I just want a bigger family. I don't know if this comes with Post-Partum, but it has been on my mind alot. I even want to go through labor again.
I see other babies and I just really want to cuddle them and my little girl and have another baby. I told Jeff today and he let me cry out my frustrations, I'm not going to get pregnant. At least not for a while. Jeff has been great with me, so I have to just say I love him to no end, he's so supportive of me in my recovery, and I love him for being so understanding.
I also love my mom for always supporting my writing, I'm super excited for this week, because Jeff is typing up the first book in my series, and I'm going to try to find a literary agent next, then a publisher. I'm so glad for all the support from my friends, and my family for their support throughout the years. I hope that those of you who read my blog, have faith to help me along in my future decisions of my life.
As always, thank you for taking the time to read my blog, and please do follow me on Facebook. I thank you all so much.
Monday, February 25, 2013
Massaging the Past
I'm still trying to forgive my grandma, but its hard to. Today I'm going to get a massage, so maybe during that time I can try to think about what she said and what she did.
In the past few days, I've been "massaging" my past, thinking back to when I was pregnant, and thinking about how I changed and how people treated me. I was isolated alot then too. But I still had friends. I'm starting to relax more, and think about what I say and do before I act. I spend a lot more time with Hazel now that I feel comfortable about how I'm feeling, most of the time.
Dixie might have to leave the house, because of how she acts towards Hazel, but my cousin Angel said she'd try to convince her parents to take Dixie in even with their two big dogs. The tension in the house is sort of relaxing, but we still have moments. I'm glad to say that I'm starting to feel normal again.
I still have some trouble with my emotions sometimes but that's getting to be easier to handle as well, its just other people that confuse me anymore.
I'm trying to sort out my own feelings so that I can possibly begin writing my book again. I'm now considering just combining the two books to make it flow better, but I'm starting to think that I might just need to do some editing in the first book to make my story in the second book will be better understood. Writing this story in my head has really helped me put my emotions down into events in a book, where I can't be in trouble. It helps me relax and calm down.
In the past few days, I've been "massaging" my past, thinking back to when I was pregnant, and thinking about how I changed and how people treated me. I was isolated alot then too. But I still had friends. I'm starting to relax more, and think about what I say and do before I act. I spend a lot more time with Hazel now that I feel comfortable about how I'm feeling, most of the time.
Dixie might have to leave the house, because of how she acts towards Hazel, but my cousin Angel said she'd try to convince her parents to take Dixie in even with their two big dogs. The tension in the house is sort of relaxing, but we still have moments. I'm glad to say that I'm starting to feel normal again.
I still have some trouble with my emotions sometimes but that's getting to be easier to handle as well, its just other people that confuse me anymore.
I'm trying to sort out my own feelings so that I can possibly begin writing my book again. I'm now considering just combining the two books to make it flow better, but I'm starting to think that I might just need to do some editing in the first book to make my story in the second book will be better understood. Writing this story in my head has really helped me put my emotions down into events in a book, where I can't be in trouble. It helps me relax and calm down.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Erotophobia
Erotophobia, the fear of sex.
That is one of my problems with my anxiety. When I was about 2-3 months pregnant, I was raped, I'm not going into details or names, but I'm just explaining my fear here. Since then, I have had trouble relaxing enough to have a few moments with Jeff, before I make up some lame excuse to stop. I have been scared, like I have no control in my sexual relationship with him, I feel weak, and not as strong as other girls.
I want to feel safe in my relationship, but most of this must start in the bedroom, I need to feel that I have power and choices in the bedroom, not just Jeff. I love him, he doesn't hurt me. I just am scared. I am trying to feel more powerful. Last night was a good first try.
EXCUSE ME IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT MY SEXLIFE AND STRUGGLES WITH MY SELF CONFIDENCE AND BETTERING MYSELF, PLEASE EXIT THIS BLOG. THANK YOU.
I am trying to do this for me, and no one else. I am trying to make me feel better about myself. Thank you for reading this and helping me with kind words and keeping close watch on my blog. I do appreciate it.
That is one of my problems with my anxiety. When I was about 2-3 months pregnant, I was raped, I'm not going into details or names, but I'm just explaining my fear here. Since then, I have had trouble relaxing enough to have a few moments with Jeff, before I make up some lame excuse to stop. I have been scared, like I have no control in my sexual relationship with him, I feel weak, and not as strong as other girls.
I want to feel safe in my relationship, but most of this must start in the bedroom, I need to feel that I have power and choices in the bedroom, not just Jeff. I love him, he doesn't hurt me. I just am scared. I am trying to feel more powerful. Last night was a good first try.
EXCUSE ME IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT MY SEXLIFE AND STRUGGLES WITH MY SELF CONFIDENCE AND BETTERING MYSELF, PLEASE EXIT THIS BLOG. THANK YOU.
I am trying to do this for me, and no one else. I am trying to make me feel better about myself. Thank you for reading this and helping me with kind words and keeping close watch on my blog. I do appreciate it.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Long Road Taken
Well, after a rough time on Valentine's Day (due to some nasty comments about my character, and my mental health by an outside party), I got to talk and hang out with a very close friend, who i thought I had lost. I'm happy to say that she and I are back to how things used to be. I have Jeff to thank for talking to her.
I managed to cling onto a copy of Hotel Transylvania. I'm trying to be a little more outgoing, but I regressed alot more, because of the nasty comments. I tried to be strong, but I just got exhausted from everything, so this weekend I've been trying to relax, not easy to do with a lot of pain in my leg and stomach.
While I try to recover, I just want to thank the people in my life, first of all...Jeff. Thank you so much, for everything you do. You hold me up and you let me cry on your shoulder, even when I panic. I love you, and I need you more than you know.
Second, Hazel, my sweetie, my cutie, and my little ray of sunshine, for always being able to make me grin, no matter what, I always want to snuggle you, and cuddle you. I just love your beautiful smile and tiny feet and gentle but strong fingers.
Thirdly, my mom, for being able to understand my life, and always wanting to help me move forward from what i'm going through. I love you so much, and I know that you don't like how the kitchen is sometimes, but I do love you, and I just want you to know that.
My friends, Kelsey, Kellie, Dani, Andrew, and Julia, thank you for all the constant support and love that you give me each and everyday with all the smilies, smiles, laughs, and over excited conversations we have when we have soda and have way too many ideas in our heads.
And thank you, to everyone who reads this. It means a lot to me to know that you care enough to take the time to read my blog. So...thank you.
I managed to cling onto a copy of Hotel Transylvania. I'm trying to be a little more outgoing, but I regressed alot more, because of the nasty comments. I tried to be strong, but I just got exhausted from everything, so this weekend I've been trying to relax, not easy to do with a lot of pain in my leg and stomach.
While I try to recover, I just want to thank the people in my life, first of all...Jeff. Thank you so much, for everything you do. You hold me up and you let me cry on your shoulder, even when I panic. I love you, and I need you more than you know.
Second, Hazel, my sweetie, my cutie, and my little ray of sunshine, for always being able to make me grin, no matter what, I always want to snuggle you, and cuddle you. I just love your beautiful smile and tiny feet and gentle but strong fingers.
Thirdly, my mom, for being able to understand my life, and always wanting to help me move forward from what i'm going through. I love you so much, and I know that you don't like how the kitchen is sometimes, but I do love you, and I just want you to know that.
My friends, Kelsey, Kellie, Dani, Andrew, and Julia, thank you for all the constant support and love that you give me each and everyday with all the smilies, smiles, laughs, and over excited conversations we have when we have soda and have way too many ideas in our heads.
And thank you, to everyone who reads this. It means a lot to me to know that you care enough to take the time to read my blog. So...thank you.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Valentine's Day
I am actually looking forward to tomorrow. Jeff has somethings planned for our family and ourselves for the evening. Hazel loves her giant stuffed bear that Jeff and I found at Wal-mart for her.
Tomorrow morning Hazel is spending time with us, and we're all going to play, as a family.
Now, Jeff has me excited and nervous for the evening, I don't know what we're doing.
Tomorrow morning Hazel is spending time with us, and we're all going to play, as a family.
Now, Jeff has me excited and nervous for the evening, I don't know what we're doing.
Sunday, February 10, 2013
For My Zing
Well, this week has come so fast. Its nearly Valentine's Day, and as it approaches, I am getting anxious, nervous and worried. Why? Because I'm scared Jeff will pull away. Last night, I could not fall asleep until I was holding his hand and laying on his chest, and I did NOT want him to move, he barely got to go to the kitchen for a bowl of cereal, because I was scared he was going to run away.
I love him, but alot of our little fights happen because I'm scared of losing him, or of him leaving me because he'll realize I'm just a touch screwy in the head. He continually tells me he knows that I'm screwy, but that I'm just weird, and that's what he loves about me. I call myself crazy and he tells me I'm not, and that he loves me.
He means so much to me...He is my life preserver, my rock, my love, and my other half. I do not know what I would do without him. He is always going to be my safe place to hide in when I need to.
So, I dedicate this blog post to him. We may have our fights, we may have our struggles, we may disagree on movies every time we go to the movie store, we may not like each others' video games, but...I will always love you, you are always in my heart. Forever. You are my Zing.
I love him, but alot of our little fights happen because I'm scared of losing him, or of him leaving me because he'll realize I'm just a touch screwy in the head. He continually tells me he knows that I'm screwy, but that I'm just weird, and that's what he loves about me. I call myself crazy and he tells me I'm not, and that he loves me.
He means so much to me...He is my life preserver, my rock, my love, and my other half. I do not know what I would do without him. He is always going to be my safe place to hide in when I need to.
So, I dedicate this blog post to him. We may have our fights, we may have our struggles, we may disagree on movies every time we go to the movie store, we may not like each others' video games, but...I will always love you, you are always in my heart. Forever. You are my Zing.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
What Hurts The Most
I'm a young mom, as you know. And I was talking to another young mom friend I have named Ashley. She is experiencing the same anger and frustrations I am having. Our babies were born a few months apart, and right now we're both mad.
We're mad that no one calls or messages just to check up. Hey, hello? Yeah, hi. WE'RE STILL PEOPLE HERE WE JUST HAVE KIDS!! I am so ready to scream at everyone and just freak out because with all the hints and shit, NO ONE CALLS! I try to be nice, and I try to hold it in.
Oh? You say YOU"RE busy? You were never busy before! I am so angry with all the people who used to talk to me, because you all don't even seem to care, do you even think about me? I helped you so much in the past and when I need some help, NO ONE IS THERE (except Jeff, but he doesn't count because he hasn't abandoned me and Hazel!)
I reach out. I try to grab your attention, and I get nothing. Soon, I WILL clean out my friends list. I have tried, but you don't even seem to consider me human.
So, if you actually do care, prove it. Just prove it, I don't care if you have to walk up to my front door and tell me you're sorry, I want some proof.
If you don't, go ahead and remove me, I have tried.
Thank you for your consideration,
Kendra
Facebook Fan Page
We're mad that no one calls or messages just to check up. Hey, hello? Yeah, hi. WE'RE STILL PEOPLE HERE WE JUST HAVE KIDS!! I am so ready to scream at everyone and just freak out because with all the hints and shit, NO ONE CALLS! I try to be nice, and I try to hold it in.
Oh? You say YOU"RE busy? You were never busy before! I am so angry with all the people who used to talk to me, because you all don't even seem to care, do you even think about me? I helped you so much in the past and when I need some help, NO ONE IS THERE (except Jeff, but he doesn't count because he hasn't abandoned me and Hazel!)
I reach out. I try to grab your attention, and I get nothing. Soon, I WILL clean out my friends list. I have tried, but you don't even seem to consider me human.
So, if you actually do care, prove it. Just prove it, I don't care if you have to walk up to my front door and tell me you're sorry, I want some proof.
If you don't, go ahead and remove me, I have tried.
Thank you for your consideration,
Kendra
Facebook Fan Page
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