Erotophobia

Erotophobia, the fear of sex.

That is one of my problems with my anxiety. When I was about 2-3 months pregnant, I was raped, I'm not going into details or names, but I'm just explaining my fear here. Since then, I have had trouble relaxing enough to have a few moments with Jeff, before I make up some lame excuse to stop. I have been scared, like I have no control in my sexual relationship with him, I feel weak, and not as strong as other girls.

I want to feel safe in my relationship, but most of this must start in the bedroom, I need to feel that I have power and choices in the bedroom, not just Jeff. I love him, he doesn't hurt me. I just am scared. I am trying to feel more powerful. Last night was a good first try.

EXCUSE ME IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT MY SEXLIFE AND STRUGGLES WITH MY SELF CONFIDENCE AND BETTERING MYSELF, PLEASE EXIT THIS BLOG. THANK YOU.

I am trying to do this for me, and no one else. I am trying to make me feel better about myself. Thank you for reading this and helping me with kind words and keeping close watch on my blog. I do appreciate it.