Publish

Well, I decided that I will self publish my books. I'm just hoping that I can receive as much support in my writing books as my blog and in my recovery.

My book is about two teenagers in a new world that one of them knew existed and the other didn't know about it, but was meant to rule it. Its based off my emotions from the past year and how I wish I could be (how I used to be). I incorporate several thoughts and emotions a teenager faces when dealing with something new. I try to keep it light and funny, while still having serious moments in between all the interacting characters, and I involve the environment as much as possible.

I'll update when it will go on sale on amazon, and let everyone know, so if you want to support me, please buy my book when it is on the market.

Erotophobia

Erotophobia, the fear of sex.

That is one of my problems with my anxiety. When I was about 2-3 months pregnant, I was raped, I'm not going into details or names, but I'm just explaining my fear here. Since then, I have had trouble relaxing enough to have a few moments with Jeff, before I make up some lame excuse to stop. I have been scared, like I have no control in my sexual relationship with him, I feel weak, and not as strong as other girls.

I want to feel safe in my relationship, but most of this must start in the bedroom, I need to feel that I have power and choices in the bedroom, not just Jeff. I love him, he doesn't hurt me. I just am scared. I am trying to feel more powerful. Last night was a good first try.

EXCUSE ME IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT MY SEXLIFE AND STRUGGLES WITH MY SELF CONFIDENCE AND BETTERING MYSELF, PLEASE EXIT THIS BLOG. THANK YOU.

I am trying to do this for me, and no one else. I am trying to make me feel better about myself. Thank you for reading this and helping me with kind words and keeping close watch on my blog. I do appreciate it.